I Realised Self Through BAYC

Each time the memories of attending BAYC for the first time flash back, the thought of the attitude that I wore whenever this "BAYC" thing was talked about is never skipped. I recall the self-reassurances on a number of occasions that this just wasn't my kind of thing.

For a long time, I had failed to get to a place of forgiveness of a father that would reject their daughter. I had seen him as nothing but an unapologetic coward, I despised him, I thought that I didn't care since he was literally not a part of my life but I was lying, the fact that I hurt was proof enough that I did care. The pain of letting go of this bitterness during BAYC 2015 felt as though a heated machete piercing through a wounded chest. I was broken and numb but I remember it felt better after. If this is just a simpler definition of the term “healing”, I can boldly say I was healed.

Then came about one of the most sensitive and interesting talks, "Identity". Christian as I had claimed to be then, how could I have never known that I am a child of God, I'm holy, I'm righteous, I'm rich, I'm beautiful...why did the world have to set a standard for me this whole time? Why did I care when I wore that dress or skirt or blouse or jeans...and no one complimented me? How low did I think of myself!!! How much did I insult God in so doing? I mean a self-sufficient God who in himself is perfect, being lowered to the level of these gods that make mistakes??? God forbid.

Are you in a situation like I was in or even worse? Are you fed up of that life that you're living? Are you suffocating inside that closet alone? It could be a closet of hate, addictions to alcohol, smoke, drugs, premarital sex...you know it better than I do. God's love didn't give up on me even at my lowest point in life. After BAYC, I thought I'd still look back at my former life and appreciate it but trust me, I was wrong. God helped me discover myself and settle for what he had created me to be and here I am today, a better and more proud person of the “me” I see today.

BAYC brought me to a place of self-realization and as a result, I renounced so many of my ways, I broke off relationships that were headed nowhere, and all these I replaced with better relationships, I've become passionate and shameless about Christ over time. I have also understood the grace of God and trust me, I'd never trade it not even for the wealthiest of treasures.

BAYC did not change me!!! BAYC gave me an opportunity to change.